Ms. Nice Guy : "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have"
Also known as : What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat
Advantages : Cheerful, agreeable, kindly
Disadvantages : May wise up someday
Old Yeller : "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see
you're making me miserable??"
Also known as : She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell
Advantages : Pays attention to you
Disadvantages : Screeches, throws frying pans
Sickly : "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite"
Also known as : Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy
Advantages : Predictable
Disadvantages : Contagious
The Bosser : "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some
money. Don't give me that look."
Also known as : Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes, Mom
Advantages : Often right
Disadvantages : Often right, but so what?
Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied
: "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?"
Also known as : The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey
Advantages : Easily soothed
Disadvantages : Even more easily perturbed
Wild Woman out of Control
: "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love on a front lawn. I done it before. S'fun."
Also known as : Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out
Advantages : More fun than a barrel of monkeys
Disadvantages : Unreliable; drives off cliffs
Huffy : "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at"
Also known as : No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, Snarly
Advantages : Your friends will feel sorry for you
Disadvantages : You will have no friends
Woman from Mars
: "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship"
Also known as : The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
Advantages : Entertaining, unfathomable
Disadvantages : Will read her poetry aloud
Ms. Dreamgirl : I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius boyfriend. I
think we must make love like crazed weasels now"
Also known as : Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
Advantages : Funny, intelligent uninhibited
Disadvantages : Will have nothing to do with you
